Conviction

I sit here in chapel at school and listen as our director gives a powerful message and it totally convicts me. Someone extremely close to me in life has walked away from the faith, and everything I am hearing today I wish I could share with that person but I can't because he doesn't quite take criticism too well. I don't know how to approach that subject yet. But more than anything I believe I've been placed in this persons life again to save them from their self. Today's message is about running from God but coming back. That God will work powerfully in each and every one of our lives because he loves us. If he has to wreck us before we run back just so that we believe him, then that may have to be the way. This isn't a really well thought out blog post but it's just something I needed to get off my mind. I don't really think many people read this anyway haha. The biggest point of this is...don't lie to yourself. Don't cover yourself up, go running to God so that He can hold you. Thank you Lord for your grace!

+Bec+

Sudden bloggers block..

Well I'm sorry that it's taken a while to blog lately, but I will say, my boyfriend of two years and I have broken up. All I can do is pray that one day we'll be together again. So life has been very rough lately :/ but I'm trying to take this all one step at a time. For now though, I will get back to blogging! But what to blog about!! <br>

Yesterday my mom and I decorated for fall!! The house is now feeling warm and cozy and ready for the cool weather. I'm ready to get the outside done and then start baking! I can't wait until the leaves start turning and it becomes more and more beautiful outside. Decorating is the best distraction for me right now although I will say that I'm hoping to get a new puppy soon as well. The puppy will keep me distracted and I will begin to have a purpose as I start to rebound from this depression. But that's really all I have for now. Horribly boring I know. Sorry :/ hope to have more soon! <br>

+Bec+

Gardening and Fall! Yay!

Yesterday, as my mom and I were out walking around our house, we started to get excited about all the gardening plans we decided to make. We've decided to downsize some flower here and put bigger, bushier plants and flowers in them so they'll take up more space and we'll have less weeds ;) our newest addition come next spring will be our new raised bed vegetable garden which I am super excited about!! It won't be too big or anything but it'll be big enough for me :) but as I say all this it reminds me that I'm rushing by fall and winter! So I am also planning on decorating for fall like crazy throughout the house and outside as well! I can't wait to try making lots of baked items to keep the house warm and friendly even during rough times. I also have big plans for Christmas as well! More to come on that later though :)
That's all for now! +Bec+

The word "Forever"

Forever. The dictionary definition is: "without ending, eternally, an endless or seemingly endless period of time". It's a word that I have come to hate. Forever to me means nothing. In my book it is fake. The only REAL meaning forever has to me, is my life with Christ. But even then I would rather use "endless" or "eternal" rather than forever. Even though they are used in the definition of forever, they have very different meanings to me. As life continues to crash down around me, I have watched many "forevers" end. I have always known that my family members wouldn't live forever, but to me, as a child and even now, I am not ready for the change that could come very soon. The heartbreak of losing a family member. One I am very close to. That is the first "forever" that suddenly has an ending. Or when a couple promises forever, but suddenly one of the couple becomes unsure that they are ready to commit to forever with you. That is the second "forever" that suddenly might have an ending. Or when one of the only things that keeps me going in life is taken away from you because of others. My horse, who I've been told to retire because I am ruining her. I've always known my horse wouldn't live forever either. But it isn't a change I am ready for nor that I have decided on. But suddenly it is another forever that has an abrupt ending. When I realize that I am almost halfway through the ability of choosing a career and yet I feel so lost. Forever is nothing. The only thing that lasts forever is a relationship and life with Christ. And that IS something, but to me, as I said before, I would rather use a different word for it. Because everything else I thought was "forever" in my life is being pulled away from me. I continue to pray everyday to find an answer to all these endings. I'm not giving up hope. And yet as I write this, I paused to read my Bible, and as I did so, the verse of the day on my Bible app on my phone, is John 16:33. It says "I have said these things to you, that you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." Which is so powerful and amazing because God always reminds us that HE is in control. To take these hard times head on, but he is always in control. Thank you Lord! Thanks for reading. +Bec+